Living nations apart, I’ve cried every time Thomas and I have left each other at an airport gate or curb. Being the big, strong man he is (hi babe 😉)...He has never once cried.
Before our last goodbye I realized a lie had crept into my heart and mind and taken residence. A lie that, in the absence of his tears, slyly whispered “He doesn’t love you like you love him.”
The Holy Spirit nudged me to expose the lie fully. I shared with Thomas what I was hearing and beginning to believe. I felt SO silly and dramatic as I spoke, but I’m grateful I did.
Thomas sweetly reminded me we don’t have to define love; he reminded me the living word of God already did that for us. He reminded me the word says love is patient, kind, does not boast, isn’t self seeking, and keeps no record of wrong. He reminded me everyone of those characteristics is visible within our love. He reminded me the word doesn’t say “Love means crying.”
It’s so simple, almost stupid simple, yet it’s absolutely transformed me. Because of it, I’m able to love and be loved by Thomas with greater measure and surrender.
Since that vulnerable moment, I can see more clearly the places I’ve previously allowed emotion rather than truth to be the measuring stick from which I live. I can see more clearly how elevating emotion above Gods word robs the peace and rest we’re created for. Because truth, contrary to what the world will scream, isn’t relative nor is it fleeting. There is no gray area. It’s definitive, final, and established by the very breath of God.
What freedom that we’re created to live not by what we feel or see but by what Jesus established in His eternal, living word. What freedom that my emotions, which are ever changing, aren’t where I’m created to plant my feet. To rest upon truth is to accept the invitation that I was created for: to live like a child, to walk boldly, and to step into what’s available to us through Jesus - to remain forever unshaken.
Death leads to life every time in the Kingdom, it’s so gloriously backwards. And quite simply, I’m learning some emotions just need a date with death that I may fully and freely LIVE and that love may be guarded by what sustains: the truth of Jesus and His living word. Because this I know - where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom, not emotional bondage. Anything less is a lie, lie, lie.
You’re loved, dear one. x